Over the past year, we have created a blog series on potential changes that may occur in a young child’s life in the hopes that we can help provide some resources for families, caregivers, and educators. For this blog, which focuses on helping young children adjust to a new sibling joining their family, we polled SEEC educators on what they did to prepare. Below you will find their experiences and advice and since we are all always learning from each other, please be sure to comment and share what worked (or didn’t work) for you.
Take a New Sibling Class
Signing up for a sibling class or a sibling tour of the hospital can help prepare young children for the birth of the new baby. Many hospitals offer classes like these and they can help young children to feel comfortable in the hospital, which eases some of the tension that comes with meeting the new baby for the first time.
New sibling classes can also teach young children how to do tasks that will help when the new baby comes. These tasks may include diapering, singing songs to the baby, or bringing mom a snack. Practicing these tasks ahead of time means that your child will be able to start immediately helping when the baby arrives. Your child might even start seeing themselves as a “helper”. As one of our parents explains, “I made sure that I gave my oldest specific tasks to help with the baby so she would feel included. She was able to help me diaper the baby and I wonder if that wasn’t something that helped her not regress when the baby was born.”
Preparing the Room
Several parents cited the importance of having the new baby’s room or crib prepared before the baby arrives. Some parents explained that having the crib set up helped children to think of and verbalize their questions as it served as a concrete reminder that the baby was coming. Other parents said that having the crib set up ahead of time made it so that their older children did not experience too many changes at once. The older child was able to get used to sleeping in a bed or even sharing bedrooms with older siblings before the baby came.
Another great way to help families prepare is to read books together. Books can give adults language for how to discuss the changes that are coming up and they can help give children an idea of what life will be like with the new baby. Some of our favorite books about getting a new baby are You’re Getting a Baby Brother! by Sheila Sweeny Higginson, Hannah Is a Big Sister by Alyssa Satin Capucilli, The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole, and Peter’s Chair by Ezra Jack Keats.
Picking out Presents
A fun way to prepare for the new baby is to have the older siblings pick out presents to give to the baby. Take them to the store and have them pick out a special present. Children can help with the wrapping process too. When the baby is born, bring the presents to the hospital and have the children give it to the new baby. The baby can also have presents to give the older siblings. Make sure that the gift to the older siblings is hospital friendly and they can play with it when they meet the new baby.
Setting Aside Time for Older Sibling
Setting time aside to ensure that the older siblings still get individual attention is crucial. It can be as simple as going for trip to the playground without the baby or signing up for a weekend class. We recommend checking out our Weekend Family Workshops. Many parents find it valuable to set time aside for the whole year. One parent recommended joining a CO-OP preschool so the older child could have their own opportunity to learn and the parents could volunteer once a month. Another option is our Smithsonian Early Explorers program, which is a caregiver child program that meets twice a week on the National Mall.
Other Life Changes
If you want to learn about how SEEC educators teach about getting a new sibling, check out “How to Take Care of a Baby Shark (and Baby Human)”. Much of this advice can be applied to other changes that might occur in a young child’s life. For example, we believe in discussing the changes with young children in frank, simple terms. This includes talking about difficult topics including death, which you can read more about in our blog “Changes: Talking with Young Children about Death”. All children go through changes as they grow up. In fact, the act of growing up might be one of the most universal changes but it is also a change that some people do not think to discuss with young children. Our blog “Changes: Facing the Strange at the Smithsonian American Art Museum”, provides tips on how to talk about the strangeness of growing up.