Changes: Advice from Parents on Preparing for a New Sibling

Over the past year, we have created a blog series on potential changes that may occur in a young child’s life in the hopes that we can help provide some resources for families, caregivers, and educators. For this blog, which focuses on helping young children adjust to a new sibling joining their family, we polled SEEC educators on what they did to prepare. Below you will find their experiences and advice and since we are all always learning from each other, please be sure to comment and share what worked (or didn’t work) for you.

 

Take a New Sibling Class

Signing up for a sibling class or a sibling tour of the hospital can help prepare young children for the birth of the new baby. Many hospitals offer classes like these and they can help young children to feel comfortable in the hospital, which eases some of the tension that comes with meeting the new baby for the first time.

New sibling classes can also teach young children how to do tasks that will help when the new baby comes. These tasks may include diapering, singing songs to the baby, or bringing mom a snack. Practicing these tasks ahead of time means that your child will be able to start immediately helping when the baby arrives. Your child might even start seeing themselves as a “helper”. As one of our parents explains, “I made sure that I gave my oldest specific tasks to help with the baby so she would feel included. She was able to help me diaper the baby and I wonder if that wasn’t something that helped her not regress when the baby was born.”

Preparing the Room

Several parents cited the importance of having the new baby’s room or crib prepared before the baby arrives. Some parents explained that having the crib set up helped children to think of and verbalize their questions as it served as a concrete reminder that the baby was coming. Other parents said that having the crib set up ahead of time made it so that their older children did not experience too many changes at once. The older child was able to get used to sleeping in a bed or even sharing bedrooms with older siblings before the baby came.

 

Books

Another great way to help families prepare is to read books together. Books can give adults language for how to discuss the changes that are coming up and they can help give children an idea of what life will be like with the new baby. Some of our favorite books about getting a new baby are You’re Getting a Baby Brother! by Sheila Sweeny Higginson, Hannah Is a Big Sister by Alyssa Satin Capucilli, The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole, and Peter’s Chair by Ezra Jack Keats.

i-kJ47zp2-X2

Picking out Presents

A fun way to prepare for the new baby is to have the older siblings pick out presents to give to the baby. Take them to the store and have them pick out a special present. Children can help with the wrapping process too. When the baby is born, bring the presents to the hospital and have the children give it to the new baby. The baby can also have presents to give the older siblings. Make sure that the gift to the older siblings is hospital friendly and they can play with it when they meet the new baby.

Setting Aside Time for Older Sibling

Setting time aside to ensure that the older siblings still get individual attention is crucial. It can be as simple as going for trip to the playground without the baby or signing up for a weekend class. We recommend checking out our Weekend Family Workshops. Many parents find it valuable to set time aside for the whole year. One parent recommended joining a CO-OP preschool so the older child could have their own opportunity to learn and the parents could volunteer once a month. Another option is our Smithsonian Early Explorers program, which is a caregiver child program that meets twice a week on the National Mall.

Other Life Changes

If you want to learn about how SEEC educators teach about getting a new sibling, check out “How to Take Care of a Baby Shark (and Baby Human)”. Much of this advice can be applied to other changes that might occur in a young child’s life. For example, we believe in discussing the changes with young children in frank, simple terms. This includes talking about difficult topics including death, which you can read more about in our blog “Changes: Talking with Young Children about Death”. All children go through changes as they grow up. In fact, the act of growing up might be one of the most universal changes but it is also a change that some people do not think to discuss with young children. Our blog “Changes: Facing the Strange at the Smithsonian American Art Museum”, provides tips on how to talk about the strangeness of growing up.

Teacher Truths: Working with Toddlers

Welcome to Teacher Truths presented by the Smithsonian Early Enrichment Center, SEEC. Each episode of Teacher Truths take place between two SEEC faculty members and explores a topic related to education. Have a topic you’d like to hear about? Email SEECSocialMedia@si.edu.

This week features a conservation between Kat Schoonover and Shannon Conley who are both toddler teachers. They spoke about working with toddlers and focused on toddlers growing independence and need for communication. Please listen and enjoy!

Highlights from the conversation between Kat and Shannon:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Biting From All Perspectives

 

teeth, exploring

When young children who are in the process of becoming verbal interact with each other, biting often occurs. At SEEC, we choose to look at biting holistically and consider the viewpoints of all the individuals involved. In a manner similar to looking closely at a painting or walking all the way around a sculpture to gain perspective, the educators at SEEC consider the viewpoints of both the bitten child and the biting child, as well as their caregivers. In this way, we are better able to discuss the situation and search for potential solutions.

While it is a perfectly normal behavior, biting brings with it a cloud of complexity because the caregivers of both children often have strong  reactions to the biting.

parents, mothers, children, love, nurture (1)

Parent of the Bitten Child

When a caregiver hears that their child was bitten, their first thought is typically,  “My poor baby!” They are overwhelmed with the natural instinct to protect their child and are worried that they failed to do so. Moreover, biting is seen as terrible offense to most adults. If I was walking down the street and someone bit me, I would be quick to call the police. When adults are confronted by the physical evidence of the bite, their emotions are heightened and they feel naturally protective.

Bitten Child

“OUCH!” is the first thing that goes through a child’s mind as they are bitten. They immediately need comfort from an adult. In my classroom, we would pick up the child or give them a hug. We would also offer a special ice pack to the bitten area. These special ice packs are infrequently and selectively given out and are consequently highly sought after – the ice pack soothes their discomfort and at the same time, gets them excited for a treat, which helps them move past the incident.

After the initial shock, young children begin to process being bitten, which is different from the way an adult would. Children are beginning to learn about their world and how people respond to them. Being bitten is actually a learning opportunity that helps them better understand social interactions. The bitten child may learn that grabbing a toy out of their friend’s hand upsets them or, that climbing on top of another child is potentially scary and painful.  The bitten child begins to understand that his/her actions impact others and when others are hurt or upset, they make act out.

parents, mother, child, support

Parent of the Biting Child

Parents of children who are biting may feel confused and wonder why their sweet child would hurt another child. If the child continues to bite, the parents often feel guilty and begin questioning their parenting abilities and even their own child. As an educator, I have worked with caregivers on both sides of the issue and I  notice that the experience is much harder for the caregiver/s of the biting child and work to reassure them that biting, in very young children, is normal and natural. I have found it useful to talk about how the child is biting to communicate their needs. I will often point out that biting can be an immensely effective way to communicate for children who are not yet able to talk efficiently.

Biting Child

For young children who are preverbal or are in the process of becoming verbal, biting is a way to communicate their wants and needs to others. Young children bite for a variety of reasons, some of which may be because they are excited, frustrated, angry, overstimulated, or scared. Children do not bite because they are mean or bad. Biting occurs because young children are trying to navigate the world and they lack both the communication skills and the impulse control to handle situations in grown-up ways.

space, children, crowded, exploring

Educator

In my class, when a child bites, we treat everyone in the situation individually. We immediately comfort and support the child who has been bitten. We explain to the child who bit that biting hurts other people’s bodies. We look closely at the situation and ask ourselves questions about what we as adults can do to prevent future bites. We also talk to the child’s family to get additional perspectives and gain a better understanding of the child’s experiences at home. We then will work together to come up with a plan. Sometimes our plans take longer than we would like, so we have to wait for the children to develop the appropriate communication skills and impulse control, but we keep evaluating, thinking, and working with the children and families.

5 Books on Families

We thought it might be helpful for us to share some books that we read in our classes that focus on families. These books highlight the ideas that everyone’s family is unique and different (and that is a good thing) while making sure to draw that connection that families are defined by love. Here is our top five list of books on families:

The Family Book by Todd Parr

9780316738965

The Family Book by Todd Parr provides a lovely overview of families. Its clear and simple prose along with its vibrant colors makes it appealing to even the youngest children. The phrases that are written in the book can almost become mantras for children. After reading it several times, you may hear children saying, “Some families are big” or “Some families are small”. It also touches upon more complex ideas surrounding families including death, adoption, and single parents. The Family Book ends with a message that helps children embrace their unique family.

Loving by Ann Morris

51NRT5Q9VBL

This book shows images of families from around the world who are taking care of each other. The  photographs highlight families from around the globe that are highly relatable to young children. For example, it depicts children shopping in San Francisco’s Chinatown, eating dinner at a table in Harlem, and a mother nursing a baby in Kenya. The photos not only speak to family, but other universals like adults caring for children and food. The love between the adults and children is clear on each page and the index  provides additional context for each photograph.

A Tale of Two Mommies by Vanita Oelschlager

71Oi2qMiCGL

This books features three children playing on a beach. Two of the children ask the other child questions about having two mommies. Both the questions and the answers to the questions appeal to young children and have a wide variety. As the child answers, it becomes clear that both mommies take care of and love the child. This books helps children to discover answers to questions about different families that they might be pondering without ostracizing others.

Stella Brings the Family by Miriam B. Schiffer

9781452111902_p0_v1_s550x406

Stella Brings the Family is about a child whose class is celebrating Mother’s Day. Stella, however, is worried because she has two dads and doesn’t know who she should bring to the Mother’s Day celebration. She discovers that she has a family that includes Daddy and Papa and also includes Nonna, Aunt Gloria, Uncle Bruno, and Cousin Lucy. She decides to invite them all to the celebration since they all help to take care of her.

Kids Need to Be Safe: A Book for Children in Foster Care by Julie Nelson

51hd1co3tIL._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_

This book addresses a more complicated topic –  that not all children have a traditional family to take care of them. The text is simple and repeats the idea that, “Kids are important. Kids need to be safe.” Children can see this theme supported by illustrations of children being cared for by foster parents and other adults. These illustrations can allow for deeper conversations and potentially provide children who have experienced foster care the opportunity to share their experiences.

These are examples of books on families that we have read to children. Do you have any books that you would like to add to this list? Please let us know!

Do Yes or No Questions Have a Place in the Classroom

Preschool, questions, yes no, books

Newly Verbal: Creating a Responsive Environment:

While yes and no questions are often criticized for shutting down dialogue and limiting possible answers, we have found that there is the potential for these types of questions to do the exact opposite. For the newest speakers, answering yes or no questions gives them the opportunity to say what is on their minds without being limited by their small vocabulary. Children’s ability to understand language, their receptive language, develops before their ability to fully speak. Educators can ask complex questions which the children can comprehend but do not have the ability to answer.

Yet, young children want to be part of the conversation; they want for their voices to be heard and to have the potential to impact the discussion. Asking yes or no questions can give children the ability to enter the conversation. A skilled educator can ask a question that has a definitive answer but respond in such a way that allows for responsive conversation to occur. Take this example from our toddler room:

Educator: “Where are the cockatoos?”

Toddler: Points to a cockatoo

Educator: “Where’s the other cockatoo?”

Toddler: Points to an owl

Educator: “Oh that’s an owl”

Toddler: Points to the owl

Educator: “Owl”

Toddler: Points to a different owl

Educator: “Owl”

Toddler: Points to an owl again

Educator: “Owl”

Educator: “Owl. Hoo Hoo”

Toddler: Smiles and attempts to make “Hoo” sound

While the educator started by asking a closed question, she was flexible when accepting the toddler’s response. After confirming that the child wanted to discuss owls, rather than cockatoos, she responded in a manner that showed that she valued the child’s voice. In the end, both educator and child were able to communicate about the sounds owls make. This conversation began by asking a question with a correct and definitive answer, but rather than limiting the discussion, it actually served as an invitation for the toddler to join and shape the conversation.

Preschool, questions, yes no, books (1)

Test Knowledge:

Using questions with definitive answers to check knowledge can actually lead to a deeper and more meaningful conversation. At the beginning of the conversation or when new information is introduced it can be helpful to take a pause and ask a yes or no question to make sure that the class is processing the information correctly. This lets the educator know if they need to provide more or less context before moving on. While we believe that the best way to learn is to discover and create meaning, it can be helpful to do a quick and simple check of knowledge by asking yes or no questions.

At SEEC, we try to be careful when doing this check for knowledge. We do not want to make children feel as though they are wrong, incorrect, or that their voice does not matter. So we use specific phrases such as the ones below:

I see why you might think …

“I see why you might think that the whale is a shark, but the blue whale is much larger than a shark. Let’s take a closer look and see.”

That can be confusing …

“The letters b and d can be confusing. They have similar shapes with a long line and a half circle, but they point in different directions.”

Oh that reminds you of …

“Oh, hockey reminds you of soccer? I can see why. Both are team sports, but hockey is played on ice and soccer is played on a field. Let’s see if we can spot other differences together.”

In general, our goal in testing knowledge is not to correct, but rather to explain more or in different ways so that the children have an understanding of the basic principles before moving on.

Preschool, questions, yes no, excitement

Excitement:

Young children who are new talkers love saying yes or no. They will emphatically shake their head up and down while saying “Yes! Yes! Yes!” or they will stomp their foot on the ground while declaring “No!” Asking yes or no questions with a group of toddlers can be a great way to get the class excited about something.

There can also be a social element to asking yes or no questions that can be particularly powerful for young children who are also developing a growing awareness of their peers. They like watching and copying other children. Educators can harness this by asking yes or no questions to the group and then encouraging the class to become excited about the choice as a group.

While there is certainly good reason for valuing open-ended questions, it is our experience that questions with a definitive answer have a place, especially in the early childhood classroom. Ultimately though, these questions must be responded to in a way that acknowledges the child’s interest and leads to further exploration and thus, understanding.

SEEC will be hosting an educator workshop entitled Fostering Wonder on January 17th.

Please join us to think more about questions and curiosity in the early childhood classroom.

 

 

 

 

Teacher Feature: Two Year Old Class Explores Butterfly Wings

This weeks’ teacher feature shows how one of SEEC’s two-year-old classes were inspired by Oscar de la Renta’s Ikats in the To Dye For: Ikats from Central Asia exhibition at the Freer|Sackler Galleries. Educators Brittany Leavitt, Brittany Brown, and Melinda Bernsdorf used these iconic ikats to facilitate a learning experience that focused on the colors, patterns, and symmetry that can be seen in both butterfly wings and these dyed fabrics. Below you will find images from the lesson as well as reflections from the educators.  

Cover Photo

Preparation:

Eggs, Chicks, InsectsAt SEEC, our faculty uses an emergent curriculum, which means they follow the interests of the children to create units and lesson plans. They were able to connect the class’s interest in various topics including eggs, frogs, and bugs by exploring the life cycle of the butterfly.

We were inspired to teach this lesson because of our class’s interest in the metamorphosis of frogs and other things that grow from eggs. Additionally, our class was really into finding insects including worms and potato bugs on the playground. We decided to explore their interest more by getting a butterfly kit for the classroom.

Butterfly Review

Brittany Leavitt began the day by gathering the group and led the class in a discussion about the butterfly. She began by reviewing previous topics on butterflies, including the number of wings butterflies have, and by reading Waiting for Wings by Lois Elhert.

After our metamorphosis unit, I decided to spend a week on exploring butterflies. Butterflies can be such a big topic so I wanted to narrow in on just one focus: the wings of a butterfly. We started by breaking down and labeling the parts of the butterfly. Then we started focusing on the butterfly wings. In particular, I wanted my class to understand butterfly wings are a multifaceted tool which are used for both protection and transportation. I also wanted to introduce the idea of symmetry with the wings.

Lesson Implementation:

Ikats ButterfliesThe class’s museum visit began on their walk to the Freer|Sackler Galleries. They were able to weave this walk into their lesson as the class tried to spy butterflies.

As we walked over to the Freer|Sackler Galleries, I had my class turn on their “spy eyes” to look for butterflies in the gardens. We had the chance to observe a butterfly on a flower. While looking at it, we revisited the topic of butterfly wings and talked about the butterfly’s bright colors and camouflage.

Anytime they spotted a butterfly on a flower or in the air, I would ask, “What do you think the butterfly is doing?” or “Where do you think it’s traveling?” These are great, simple questions that help to start a conversation. I was sure to ask questions that prompted critical thinking and creativity without being overwhelming for the two and three-year-olds in my class. In general, this walk was a great way to refresh the key words and topics we were going over throughout the week.

Copy of Ikats ButterfliesThe class gathered around the Oscar de la Renta designs. The class looked closely at the textiles and discussed the colors and patterns that they saw.

I chose to visit the Ikats from Central Asia because of its parallels to the symmetry, color, and patterns of the butterfly wing. When we entered the gallery, we took a few minutes for each child to look closely at the ikats. Then we began describing the ikats with words. As the class described the ikats, I noted that the pattern on some ikats was symmetrical. The class worked together to define symmetrical and then related it to butterfly wings. We concluded our time in the gallery by singing the fingerplay song “Butterflies”.

Butterfly wings, songs

After visiting the galleries, the class went outside to the Haupt Garden and continued to explore butterfly wings. Brittany handed out paper butterflies that the class had previously created so they could continue to observe the symmetry of the butterfly wings.

I brought butterflies that the class made earlier in the week and continued our discussion on symmetry. We did a three step process to help us further understand symmetry.  First we looked at our butterfly creations as a whole. Then we folded the butterfly wings like we were closing a book. We followed this up by observing how both sides of the wings look the same.

Reflection:

Butterfly artThe class loved being outside and singing about butterfly wings. They were able to play with and further explore butterflies that they previously created.

To extend this in the classroom, we played a simple symmetry puzzle that I created by printing off large pictures of butterflies and cutting them in half. We also used paint to create our own butterfly patterns.

reflection butterflyOn the walk back, the class went through the Pollinator Garden. As they walked the teachers engaged the class in casual conversations about which plants the butterflies might prefer.

For teachers who want to try out this lesson, I recommend creating a small pollinator garden if you have space in your outdoor area. You can buy butterfly kits online. They are a great way to watch the stages in the classroom. You can later on do a special butterfly release.

Teaching this lesson was a great way as teacher to challenge myself to dig deeper into a new topic. I love watching my class become interested in a topic. When presented in a developmentally appropriate way, young children are able to explore and understand incredibly complex topics. For example, my class was able to understand the concepts of symmetry and metamorphosis. They particularly loved the word metamorphosis and would say it frequently with the correct meaning. When I heard them say metamorphosis, it let me know that this topic of butterflies really stuck with them and impacted their view of the world.

 

 

 

Songs & Emergent Literacy

Drum and LiteracyIf you visit our toddler and twos classes you are bound to hear joyful voices singing songs as they begin their morning routine. The classes sing hello to each student, use songs during their morning circles, and to help ease transitions throughout their day. While a chorus of young voices is undeniably sweet and fun, their singing is helping to set a strong academic foundation by strengthening the children’s pre-literacy skills.

Songs & Vocabulary

When children hear a song, they are exposed to new words. The words that young children hear, whether spoken or sung, are the words that form their vocabulary. The repetitive nature of many song lyrics, combined with the fact that children are likely to hear the same song many times, gives them the opportunity to fully learn new words. Later in their academic lives, this understanding of a variety of words will help with their ability to read and their overall reading comprehension.

Songs, Sounds, Rhymes

clapping hands songs

For very young children, listening to songs exposes them to the many different sounds that make up our words. As you sing a song, you emphasize certain sounds and by doing so, you highlight the building blocks of our language. Singing gives the youngest children the opportunity to mimic and communicate with these sounds in a way that is ideal for toddlers. When singing, they are given the freedom to be loud, let their voices ring, and play with sounds. Additionally, a child whose words often slur together or who regularly skips words while speaking is often able to sing a tune in such a way that an adult will know what they are singing. This can hold true even in cases where the adult is not able to understand many of the individual words being sung. Children rely on the sounds they learned while singing when they start sounding out words and when they are developing the ability to read.

As young children develop pre-literacy skills, they begin to have the ability to rhyme. Singing songs such as Willoughby Wallaby Woo, Down by the Bay, and Silly Nilly Name Song allow children to explore rhyming sounds while singing. Pausing before you say the rhyming word can give the children the chance to fill it in, which helps children progress from hearing rhymes to creating their own rhymes. These singing games can provide hours of entertainment while challenging young children to explore sounds and rhymes.

Songs, Symbols, & Letter Recognition

A crucial component of learning to read is recognizing that the letter “m” means the sound “mmm”. In order to learn this, children must first understand the use of symbols, because the letter “m” is a symbol for the sound “mmm”. Children begin recognizing symbols well before they are ready to read and symbol recognition is considered an important pre-literacy skill. While using songs to help children understand letters may seem unlikely, song cards offer the ideal opportunity to pair singing with symbol recognition.

Songs cards are images that are used to represent or be a symbol for a particular songs. For example, an image of a sun might be used to represent Mr. Sun and a star might be used to represent Twinkle, Twinkle.  When using song cards, make sure that image is large, engaging and/or colorful. Also be sure that the images are double sided and laminated for durability. Then dramatically spread the song cards out in the middle of the circle and encourage the class to explore the cards. As they pick up the images, sing the corresponding song. Over time, children will learn that specific images represent their favorite songs and will go out of their way to find these images. Young children love using these song cards because it helps them to communicate what songs they want to sing  without having to come up with the name of the song or even the tune. In essence, song cards help young children to learn about symbols in a way that is appealing to them by helping to fulfill their need to communicate their wants and desires.

Join Us & Learn More

Singing is one of many ways that can help young children develop pre-literacy skills in a way that is developmentally appropriate and intrinsically rewarding. At SEEC, we use books, art, and objects engage young children in literacy. If you are interested in learning more, come to our Emergent Literacy workshop on Thursday, November 29 at 3:30 pm.